The Hidden Reason You Keep Slipping Back into Old Habits
Jul 13, 2025Have you ever found yourself deeply frustrated because despite your sincere efforts to change, you keep returning to old patterns and habits? It might feel like you’re on a constant rollercoaster, taking two steps forward only to slip three steps back. If this sounds familiar, rest assured; you're not alone—and there's a deeper reason behind why this happens.
The Misunderstood Nature of Relapse
Many people mistakenly view relapse as a failure or a sign of personal weakness. But relapse isn't a moral failing or an indication of your lack of discipline—it's a common and often necessary part of the change process. Relapse is one of the six natural stages in the Cycle of Change and recognizing this can significantly alter your perception and experience.
When we expect change to be linear, any setback can feel devastating. This misconception often leads us to give up entirely, thinking, "I just can't do this." But the reality is, relapse is simply a signal that some adjustments or additional support are needed. It's a powerful opportunity to learn about yourself, refine your strategy, and strengthen your resolve.
Why Do We Relapse?
Relapses typically occur because of unmet needs, lack of preparation, or unexpected stressors. Sometimes, we try to skip stages or take shortcuts, pushing ourselves prematurely into the Action stage without adequate preparation or support. For example, you might dive directly into an intense new workout routine or a strict diet, expecting quick results. When inevitable setbacks occur, you become discouraged and revert to old patterns.
Understanding that relapse is a normal part of the change process can remove much of the shame and frustration associated with it. Instead of feeling defeated, you can approach setbacks with curiosity, asking yourself what triggered the relapse and what adjustments might prevent it in the future.
Strategies to Overcome Relapse
- Identify Triggers: Reflect on the circumstances that lead to setbacks. Are there specific environments, people, or emotions that trigger your return to old habits?
- Strengthen Your Preparation: Revisit your preparation stage. Are there resources, support systems, or tools you neglected that could better equip you for success?
- Develop a Resilient Mindset: Remind yourself that relapse isn't failure—it's feedback. Use setbacks as opportunities for self-reflection and improvement rather than reasons for self-criticism.
Real-Life Example
Take the story of Mark, who repeatedly tried to quit smoking but always found himself slipping back into old habits during periods of stress. After recognizing he was experiencing a relapse, Mark shifted his approach. He identified his stress triggers, built stronger coping mechanisms, and created a solid support network. This awareness allowed Mark to finally break the cycle and sustain long-term change.
Accept Relapse as Part of Your Journey
Remember, change is rarely a straight path. By accepting relapse as a natural and informative part of your journey, you remove unnecessary guilt and empower yourself to make meaningful adjustments that lead to lasting growth.
Are you experiencing setbacks and want clarity on how to overcome them? Take the free "Self-Awareness Quiz" today to identify your exact stage and get tailored advice to move forward with confidence.
